Well berludy hell – I think yesterday might have got to me. Cos this morning I put on my politicly correct purple Hunter wellies and stomped out to feed the sheep, chickens blah blah blah, normally a job I enjoy – but kept getting this image of a certain lady nodding in approval at my country ways. . . . . . if not the purple of my wellies.
Well it stops right here. Keep an eye on your digger Lixtroll I am going to urbanise it with a good dollop of lipstick. I have shredded my beloved wellies and am now hobbling around painfully in mud caked high heels. The dogs are dressed in fluffy little pink numbers and I am murderously shopping at Tesco-on-line. I have flattened my greenhouse with Lixtroll's digger and my welding and glazing kits are up for sale on ebay. I am feverishly bidding for a gun and fishing tackle on line so that I can sell those toooo. Mind you I am having a bit of trouble here as my wine soaked keyboard keeps exploding and the keys are all glued together with melted easter eggs.
Coffee wasn't mentioned in yesterday's tirade, but I'm drinking gallons of it just in case. Kids . . kids . . no kids around so will have to work on that one. And why all this feverish activity you may ask . . . .how the hell should I know – somewhere a wine free brain cell is protesting that whatever happens I don't want to be like a certain lady . . . oh b****r I wish I hadn't shredded my wellies though. And how the hell do people manage with these heels. Whoops safari has just unexpectedly quite for the ninth time – Tesco you can stick it . . .oh no apparently I can stick it. According to them I live too far into the countryside for them to deliver to me . . . .Ah the dogs have eaten their fluffy pink numbers (expect an ExmoorJane soon) and I have come too damn close to letting a certain lady blob all over my confidence.
So quick re-wind and back to my happy ditzy version of country living normal . . which will include wine and chocolate and children when they are home – the children - wine and chocolate are always at home. It will also include the way I live MY life in the countryside and not someone else's version of how I should do it. And very much on the top of my happy country living list is blogging and 'hanging out' with you lot – cos in the words of Wild&Green you rock! OK?
One word of warning though – Lixtroll I am still coming after your digger with lipstick and glitter and streamers and pink fluffy feathers . . . . . .
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