Talking to the walls

Well I have only gone and bloomin' well bloomin' bloomin' done it and in a good way for a change. Yes I have finished my third and final assignment for my Stress Management Training Course. Not long now and I shall be released on the unsuspecting and seriously stressed public. Victim selection now in progress. Well yes I still have to check the assignment through and no I haven't actually sent it in quite yet . . .but I will . . soon . . .when I stop blogging . . . yeah yeah tomorrow. And yes I have actually buckled down and done the required 30 hours of reading. 30 Hours – that made my head ache and emptied the coffee pot. Not that I did all the reading at once you understand. Well not until now when I realised I hadn't done enough. Anyway I am now officially feeling really smugly pleased with myself.

Ooops ash on the keyboard – no not fag ash. Fire ash. I've been cleaning out the fire. The new chimney sweep is coming today, all the way from Stirling. We had to find a new chimney sweep, because the old one clearly wasn't going to run out of 'why I can't clean your chimney ' excuses.

And (how daring is that a capital AND at the start of a paragraph) got a phone call this morning from the plumber who, after eight months of nagging. No, no, no, me nagging him . . has finally run out of why I can't test your gas excuses and is coming up on Friday to test the gas appliances in the self catering cottage for our Land Lords certificate. Yes Exmoorjane – eight months. I couldn't get anyone else either – has to be a Corgi registered plumber and they are in short supply up here.

Having had a very serious fire here and having then found out the importance of having all my paperwork in order – chimney swept, boiler serviced, landlords gas certificate – it is not something I would ever neglect. The fire I will save for another blog.

I say that people are coming up here cos we are higher than the village. It can be raining in the village and snowing up here. Well not in the summer of course.

Ok! So now I am feeling brave enough and here is the real reason for today's Blog. Does anyone here other than me talk to the wall, the fire, the kitchen, the bed, the carpet, the dogs . . . thank god for the dogs and the sheep and the chickens. . . . My daughter summed it up really when she said 'for goodness sake Mum, you verbalise everything!' Very brief stunned silence followed. But she is right I do verbalise everything and it isn't a requirement that anyone else is there to listen. It is probably better that they're not. My head gets bizzy and buzzy especially after the morning coffee rush – so I externalise the internal dialogue – which I assume every one has, but after my daughters comment I am not so sure. It isn't usually a problem, but a couple of times going round Sainsbury's I noticed people giving me odd looks . . . . . well ok every time I go round most shops . . .and I have realised I have been externalising my internal dialogue yet again – better known as talking to yourself. Well at least I don't have an imaginary friend with me – no he stays at home. Er that was a joke. So I was just a bit curious as to whether any of you lot do it too. I mean when I had my babies and I was out with out them . . and only once because I had forgotten to take them with me . . . I did used to catch myself standing in shops swaying from side to side. This I know I am not alone in. The fact that I still do it is a little worrying. But the talking to anything . . . now is that normal! Please feel free to lie convincingly.