Thursday, 9 August 2007

Westerwitch the Criminal . . . . does it AGAIN . . . .




Monday 6th August and Wiidchild's 20th Birthday . . . no longer a teenager . . . Now a responsible adult . . . .

And the day I chose to give up smoking. . . . .Had plenty of practice – now for the real thing.

We arrived at Wildchild's Flat around lunchtime. Next to her block is a walled in car park – actually really interesting old park surrounded by high old walls and buildings.

First thing we noticed was that the chain blocking the entrance to the car park was gone and instead there were notices everywhere . . . parking for permit holders ONLY . . . £85 fine for non permit holders. Mmmmm are you feeling edgy yet – are the warning bells starting . . . £85 berludy hell.

AH hah oh no not this time –THIS TIME Westerwitch IS going to be all legal AND proper like. Oh yes you don't get me twice . . . so complete with properly displayed permit HS and I parked the car and went up to see Wildchild. On the way up I clocked the traffic wardens car! He was illegally displaying a learner thingy – no learner in the car . . .not important.

Wildchild opened her presents– we bought her a camera – see picture above. Then off to lunch a short drive away – um – Kentucky Fried Chicken – Wildchild's choice. Next we saw Shrek 3 – in the cinema - not in Kentucky Fried Chicken.

We enjoyed the film but not as good, we felt, as the first two. But we ate popcorn and stuffed chocolate and had a brilliant time.

Then back to flat and the car park and being all legal . . . country girl in the city and not breaking any laws – proud Westerwitch . . . if a little tetchy . . . no fags you see, but coping well!

We pottered around the flat – played with Wildchild's Rats – what amazing pets they are. We chatted, drank tea . . . normal stuff.

Wildchild went to put the rubbish out . . . came back and said . . ' Mum you're not going to like this, but you have got a parking ticket!'

“Oh hahahahaha, yeah right you have tried that one before . . .hahaha – you don't get me twice . . hahahaha. Yeah not falling for that!'

No Mum. Really you have!'

Not a trace of a smile on Wildchild's face.

'Feryucky Hell and Berger and . . . . . bar stewards and . . . . what the . . . and '. . .rushed down the stairs . . . . out to the car and berludy hell there is was a berludy ludy parking ticket . . . . on MY car . . . .

Fine for not displaying permit ,or whatever properly . . . . what WHAT – it was there THERE . . . aaarrrrrggggggg!!!!! Apparently a couple of weeks back the parking bar steward warden person had 'done' a friend of Wildchild's.

HAH HAH . . .WELL NOT ME . . . NOT THIS TIME . . . this time I was well and truly legal . . . wasn't I? Hah bitten off more than they can chew . . .no fags and HAH HAH – is that the berludy warden's car in the corner . . is it, IS IT . . . . ?

I rushed round the car park checking our permit against the others on various cars . . . yup all legal. Wildchild and HS kept saying just leave it – we can fight it later . . . and started to walk towards the flat.

HAH NOT ME. OH NO . . . Westerwitch has tobacco deprivation and has found someone to fight . . . . . breaks free from HS and Wildchild and advances with murderous purpose and quiet misleading smile on face towards the wardens' car . . . . Bar steward . . . . really gonna regret this . . .

To my complete surprise Wildchild and HS actually physically dragged me back . . . 'What! No . . WANNA FIGHT . . . . Noooooo . . leggo!'

'MUM look at the ticket . . . '

'Yup, looking at the ticket – my car – blah blah blah . . . hang on the date is a month earlier . . . and not for this car park . . . and . . . .anddddd . . . .berludy hell!'

HS and Wildchild in absolute fits – hurrying me into the flat . . . didn't want this bar steward warden to see fake parking ticket, cos it might get Wildchild's traffic warden friend into trouble . . . yes the bar steward that supplied her with the ticket A MONTH AGO!

Snap shots . . . walking into the room and Wildchild and HS going quiet. Pointed conversations about the warden. Lots of looking out of the window and comments on the warden . . . .and more . . . . I'D BEEN WELL AND TRULY SET UP AND HAD.

I had trained Wildchild too well. . . . although she did admit she'd had to keep turning away to hide her smiles . . . but the face she presented me was very well composed . . . so the gauntlet is down . . . . thinking cap on . . .

14 comments:

sally's chateau said...

Fell about laughing !

Anonymous said...

Your willpower is being tested to the limit! Well done, Wildchild. You obviously made a good teacher!!

Crystal xx

bodran... said...

BERLUDY RILLIANT !!! My sympathese aswell to the victim when you get your own back...lol xx

Faith said...

Well done to Wildchild! and she looks so darn YOUNG and sweet and innocent in the piccie!

FunkyMunky said...

Love it!! Oh how I would've liked to see your face ... during ... and especially after!! Well done Wildchild, I'm impressed!!

ChrisH said...

Take the camera back now and tell Wildchild she is not too big for a smack (always fails with Lily and Rose!). Measure of what a good sport she thinks you are ... perhaps better not to have picked a day when you were sans nicotine!

Suffolkmum said...

Oh brilliant. And yes, she does look like butter wouldn't melt - clearly she learnt at the knee of a master!

snailbeachshepherdess said...

Ah well...there's an old saying...you reap what you sow....I think I see trouble ahead!!!

Zoƫ said...

too funny!

@themill said...

Darling children we all have!

CAMILLA said...

Cant help it I have a stitch in my side now, berludy marvellous. Wildchild - oh to be young, gorgeous hair. Westerwitch, hang in there my girl,no roll-ups, but keep thinking CHOCOLATE!

Camilla.xxx

Fennie said...

Oh you poor, poor thing. But very funny story. Clearly Wildchild (what a lovely name) takes after her mother in matters thespian. Nobody in our family can keep a straight face, not least of them me. Look at it this way they were just trying to give you some stress to manage!

Anonymous said...

Auuggh....that was a cracker...you have taught your children well....I just couldn't stop laughing ...my jaws are sore now..I can just see it all in my minds eye....well done kids...thats what you call a beauty...

The Country Craft Angel said...

Sadly my dear you have yourself to blame...you have trained her well and she has your wicked sense of humour. Made me laugh and think of my eldest...little blighter!

warm wishes
xx