Sunday, 23 September 2007
Diaries are for smoking . . .
SMOKING DIARIES for the past two weeks.
Ptooooooey . . . before we even start Milla and Fennie – don't you dare point those loaded comments at me . . . .
So have I been bad – of course I berludy well have . . .have I been good – yes that too.
The wrong end of the stick
it is there for the grabbing
And the bush to be beaten
And excuses for a stabbing
I can make up dozens of excuses for smoking. The slightest thing can cause me stress, if I choose, and off I go puffing again, with only a trace of guilt.
See fools rushing in
where not an Angel steps
is there looking in the leaping
But spontaneity in there yet
If I tell myself I can't smoke then I rebel against myself and indeed I rebel against anyone that tries to reinforce that . . .whether they are right, or wrong . .then again who is to judge.
Van Goghs lends an ear for music
Words in pictures a thousand times
Do you know who to follow now
Or is this for the blind
If I tell myself I can smoke and then the attraction goes up in smoke . . .but not completely. . . .sigh . . .
If your name be Thomas
Would you doubt me yet
Are my spots for counting
A leopard in the bet
So where does that leave me . . here of course.
Do I want to give up smoking . . yes . . eventually. So what am I doing about it. I am doing it my way. I have gone from 35 a week to a mere 5 . . now I think that is a massive improvement and the more I don't smoke the better I feel and the more aware I am of the instant effects when I do smoke and the less I want to smoke . . but I am not quite, not QUITE ready to stop yet . . .
There are many squares to see
But one I am not at
The smoke from this chimney
Still has lives of a cat
There was someone on this site . . .so sorry i can't remember who – who said that to give up they cut down to just Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights and then eventually stopped. I can see that working for me.
So Granny look to your eggs
And to horses bearing gifts
Remove the cock that crows
And bulls here to Poo . . .(no I know it doesn't rhyme but I couldn't put what did.)
So I am not giving up on giving up . . I am doing it my way. Life is pretty good at the moment so the goal now is to only smoke on Saturday night before dinner – whilst watching X-Factor and enjoying a bottle of wine.
Stable door and bolted
but the horse never left
Brass tacks are everywhere
on the right side of bed.
So progress is is then . . .and I am doing it my way.