Monday, 2 July 2007

Westerwitch the Criminal . . . .

Picture of my soothing fish - to calm you before you read my blog!!

And so Westerwitch had a very bad day on Friday. And yes I started a paragraph with And – which I am delighted to say breaks the rules and if you choose to read on you will see why I got so much pleasure of of it . . . breaking the rules!

Actually Thursday wasn't a brilliant day either – what with bin bags bursting in the car on the way down the track to the bin. Had to spend ages cleaning up Bin Goo from the back of my car. Then went to put the shopping away and discovered the mice had been in the Pantry . . . so lots of cleaning. Then dropped a bottle of bleach which promptly cracked . . loads more mopping up. Then because of all the cleaning I managed to completely miss meeting on of Lixtroll's friends who had popped in from Amsterdam to visit for a few hours and to top it all off I broke a lovely tall glass vase when it slipped out of my hand into the sink . . . so that, in short, was Thursday.

Friday started out so well. I went over to see Humpty and Lixtroll which was lovely and saw Lixtroll's Mum and Dad and Gran – who have adopted me – so I was having a wonderful, warm, kinda fuzzy day. I did all my housework – so was also feeling righteous. Then I went to the village to collect some bits and pieces and decided at the last minute to pop into the Co-op. There was no-where to park – usual state of affairs during the tourist season so I parked on double yellows, all us locals do – making sure I wasn't blocking the exit there and nipped into the Co-op. Met some friends in the Co-op chatted – day still going really well.

With the shopping finished I went out to my car – put the shopping in the passenger side of the car and my day fell apart.

One of the great big ANIMAL type four wheel drive police cars came out of the police station car park – a whole 20 yards up the road from where I was . . . and DROVE, yes DROVE down to where I was – did a spectacular U turn in the middle of the High Street and came and parked close up behind me with his bumper sticking out into traffic!!!!!!

I turned round smiling expecting to see one of the policemen I knew and met this stone faced bully – not a 'local' policeman I had met before. Stoneface then proceeded to make a great show of asking why I was parked on double yellow lines. Yes an offence I know – but parking is difficult in our village and people park where they can. For the last eight years that I have lived in the village the police have 'allegedly' turned a blind eye to parking offences . . . which is not easy as most of the 'offending' parking takes place right outside the police station!!!

Anyway I explained to stoneface . . no place to park blah blah only popping in etc etc. Stone face ordered me to 'wait there.' Then he made a great big show of going and getting his parking ticket book from his car. Then he proceeded very very slowly to fill out the ticket. I have never actually been given ticket before – so assumed that because of the length of time he was taking that there must be a huge amount to fill out. There isn't – as I found out later. He was going for maximum embarrassment in making a very public show of humiliating me.

At one point I asked about the three cars on the other side of the road parked on the pavement – one of which was parked right outside the police station. I was told yes they were parked illegally, but I was parked more illegally (PARDON!) and anyway he had the wrong parking ticket book and no he wasn't going to do anything about them. It gets worse . . . a woman driver of one of the illegally parked cars actually walked over the road to ask stoneface a question . . . .did he say anything to he about her illegal parking . . no he did not. He stopped and talked to her for a while and then turned back to continue his slow and bullish humiliation of me. . . . . . . You know giving me a warning would have done . . . I am very law abiding and was – yes WAS very respectful of the police . . .

It used to be a standing joke in the village that many years ago a new keen police officer went round the village handing out parking tickets until he was told by his superior – we don't do that here in this village . . . . So what the berludy hell has changed and when . . . because clearly no-one has informed the community that there is now zero tolerance in Killin – oh yes apparently we have zero tolerance here . . it will be guns next. And if indeed the policy has changed how about warning people first. And what has happened to respect. Stoneface could do with going on a communication course – he behaved in an aggressive, overbearing and bullying manner which whilst fine for in the big Cities – is not fine for policing Village communities.

Happy Snaper was incensed when I told him what had happened – not the fact that I had got a ticket, but the pure victimisation of the manner in which it had been done. We actually went back to the village to say that we wanted to complain. Arrogant stoneface actually rolled his eyes at us . . . . good grief is this how he is going to treat the older generation of the Village.

I can honestly say I was very upset by the whole incident.

So we went home – had dinner – watch TV - usual stuff. HS went to bed early. I couldn't sleep . . . . so popped over to see Lixtroll cos I was still feeling upset. We talked. I was still drinking the same glass of wine I had been drinking all evening. Later I went home. Went upstairs and did my switch everything off routine . . decided to switch all the lights off so that I didn't disturb HS when I opened the bedroom door. Walked to the bedroom door – went to push it open and fell down the stairs . . . I hadn't walked along far enough. . . . . . . so not the best of days for Westerwitch.

Cor guess WOT – I got exploding lights and EVERYTHING when I hit the bottom of the stairs. I hurt my left shoulder neck and right leg . . . and got a bad case of the giggles . . . even now typing it out it makes me laugh . . . I think I will be stiff and sore for a few days – but will be ok . . . Westerwitches, even us serious criminal ones, obviously bounce!


Pondside said...

Oh you poor thing! I can't abide a bully and it sounds as though your village has one in its new police officer - that, or he'll have to be taken aside by a more experienced officer and read the rules!
You certainly have had quite a time. I have to say that having the spill, the mice and the bleach drop is a good way to force a good cleaning - it may be the only way that I'll ever get down to the grout between the tiles!!
I hope your week gets better. You're bound to be sore from the fall, so take it easy on yourself.

FunkyMunky said...

How wonderful that you can see the funny side after all your recent tribulations. I hope you're not too sore!

I too hate bullies and episodes like the one you experienced are very upsetting.
Hope the nasty man gets hounded out of town!

lampworkbeader said...

All I can say is 'The Rat'. Getting a ticket is one thing but deliberate humiliation of a member of the public is just totally out of order. Obviously needs to go back to cop charm school.
I hope the shoulder is soon mended.
Best wishes L

Anonymous said...

Well you've had a busy time! My brother and his wife are bobbys so I always have to watch myself! Mind you, I can relate to the parking problem. Seahouses is rife with illegal parkers, double yella's on each side but they get ignored. We have a lovely friendly bobby here who calls in for a cuppa every few weeks.

Cait O'Connor said...

Oh I'm so sorry you had such a bad time with that ******* of a policeman. Easy targets, that's what they go for. I too would have been incensed. Did you complain about his manner?
I think it was the Full Moon on Saturday, a lot of things were stirred up last week. Glad you weren't too hurt on the stairs. I broke my neck falling down the stairs with my Dyson (Dyson's neck broke too), I had a lucky escape as I could have been paralysed from neck down. So please take care on the stairs....

annakarenin said...

Thank goodness only bumps and bruises from the stairs unlike the pain from the bully. I would have found it very hard to contain myself when he let the other woman off like that talk about victimization, illegal parking is illegal parking and if he is going to make a thing of it then should at least be consistant. What a b******.

I know now why I couldn't find your blog initially. It is because it says Happy Snapper in the box and that usually means it is for that person only.

Elizabethd said...

Poor you, what a day. You should complain to higher authority about the rat pc, if only to stop him doing to to someone else.

kathleen said...

I just discovered your blog, and love it! Along with it, I found also your other "skool" blog - Amazing is all I can say! So creative, and a bit zaney...I hope you don't mind me saying so.

So refreshing! Thanks!

CAMILLA said...

Oh Dear Westerwitch,
How horrid is that blo... policeman. I remember driving through a small village here a few years ago,it was a 30 mile per hour speed sign, I was doing about 10 miles an hour, could not go any faster because there were 2 horseriders coming towards me. Then out of nowhere, jumped this up and coming young policeman, I swear he could have jumped out from behind a bush. He said I was driving at least 40 miles per hour, I could not believe it, he even asked me to drive to the largest town the next day and present my driving license again to them. I would not have minded, but as the policeman was booking me, two other cars drove past at least 50 miles per hour. I do think we have a right to complain Westerwitch. Hope your leg is not too bad, so glad that it was not more serious. Hoping that tomorrow will be a better day for you.
Thank you for your message, you are so kind.

toady said...

Cor you don't do things by halves. I think we should have a group hex on the policeman, just say what time and we can send a collective kick up the arse instead of hugs. Toady

sally's chateau said...

er... about that visit to Le Chateau !! Take care, it can't get any worse can it ? x


Ah with my vast expereince of rurtal policing I expect it can all be explained by it being stone face's day to get to play in the shiny big 4 by 4 with the pretty flashing light on top and he wanted to pretend to be a real policeman.. Oh dear when you say you had been nursing the asme glass of wine all eveing two thoughts come to mind... firstly you do not mentionhow many times that glass had been refilled nad secondly how big was the glass exactley!!!

Do be careful if anything happens to you we shall need a new headmistress and we might get one who makes us close the Gin still and everything else and learn numbers and conjugations!!

lixtroll said...

Yes, life has not been the same since we have all had to park legally in Killin- we're all becoming a desperate lot!

Poor old Westerwitch, all covered in bruises but still giggling away like a madwoman - you are most welcome to pop over any time for a glass, but take a torch next time!

Preseli Mags said...

It reminds me of the time my Dad was done for doing 33mph in a 30mph limit. Some other cars went past even faster, as Dad pointed out to Mr Plod. "Ah yes," said Plod smugly, "but I've got you."

Blossomcottage said...

Ex Criminals often get jobs as Bouncers in night clubs!!!!
think you are more than halfway there!!.

ChrisH said...

Well, you live and learn. I didn't know there were degrees of illegality. You have a completely sh*t time, you poor sausage, this can only mean that a truly wonderful time is just round the corner.

jackofall said...

Cash in on it. Refuse to pay the ticket, then when you're taken to court, contest the case and ask for Stoneface to come as a witness, Then you can question him as to why he didn't book the other illegal parkers, he'll have no sensible defence (wrong ticket book, my a**e), and the case will be dismissed cos he'll be seen to have been victimising you.

If he's got a sensible superior s/he might not even let it get that far.

snailbeachshepherdess said...

a case of 'Jobsworth' methinks

Fennie said...

Oh poor you! I can well understand how you feel. Takes yonks before your stomach returns to normal and you stop running a tape of the incident through your brain.

Your village sounds similar to our small town. We have traffic wardens - imported from a bigger place - one day a week and generally the policemen are kind.

I was parked half on the pavement once and half on a double yellow while waiting for the cashpoint.

"You're causing chaos!" came this bellow from somewhere behind me with such force that everybody within a hundred yards must have heard him. Yes, it was a policecar, holding up the traffic while the driver did his bellowing bit.

Poor me! I scooted away red with embarrassment - but without a ticket. I suspect that was rather more skilful policing than old Mr misogynist stoneface's

Better luck next time.

Anonymous said...

what a time. hope you are okay he sounds a bit unkind eh xx jep

Pipany said...

What an awful few days, Westerwitch. Bet that twerp of a policeman won't last long though. Now off for a medicinal bottle or two... xx

countrymousie said...

I have no idea what to say - if you didnt have bad luck you would have no luck at all!!!
Next week will be much much better, with no rain, sunshine, your stoneface will be on suspension - well, you never know. love mousie

Pingu said...

Me thinks this copper is repressed yes?

Are you sure you "fell down the stairs"? That's what they always used to say after they got too enthusiastic with their 'happy sticks'...

Isn't Granny lovely? And what about Logical Bob eh?

Faith said...

Hope you are going to appeal that parking ticket. Hardly sounds fair. You should've taken pics of the other cars parked illegally. Horrible man.

Glad you didnt break your neck falling downstairs - I dont think I wouldve got the giggles!

elizabethm said...

hope to god things have improved since. we are also having a period of constant breakdown and disaster so you are not alone. gerat site.

CAMILLA said...

Dear Westerwitch,
I am having difficulty in connecting to
every time I type this in the google, under the address bar on my computer, it comes up saying, do you mean purplecow. I feel like saying NO I dont mean PURPLECOW, I mean Purplecoo!. How am I ever going to get onto it, oh help, I am going to be stranded alone and shipwrecked! gone for a glass of vodka, and roll-up, even though it is 3.30am in morning!

CAMILLA said...

Hello again Dear Westerwitch,
Thank you so much, I am in! Yippee!
But I do not no what link to press to put photo's up with comments page or Blog Page, is it displayed under the editing? Thank you.

The Country Craft Angel said...

What a swine!!

Agree that you should appeal!!

Just found your last one-had missed.
So enjoy your blogs-hopefully when the site is up and running we should see more...pleeeaase

warm wishes

CAMILLA said...

Hello Dear Westerwitch,
Can you get me in by the back door, I am not able to get into Purple-news at all today, I do miss everyone.

kathleen said...

Thank you for visiting my blog! And here's the link to find your power element. It's just a fun quiz:

kath n bly prk,prth said...

hi westerwitch it`s kath and police officer billy from perth ,how are you?well going by your latest blog on parking tickets I imagine you have now a different view of our fine poice officers in this country,do we all get tarred with the same brush! shame? I think you should set up a petition to get rid of stoneyface down in the village....although it wont have any effect within the office it would certainly have an effect on this stoney faced idiot who is giving the rest of our hardworking understanding officers bad name,his turn to be humiliated I think ...nip it in the bud..anyway i see from your blog you have studied stress counciling i need some of that just now ..going through ME/FIBROMYALGIA exclusion just now ,so not an easy time for me just now although i have been getting stronger since my virus in march,now the learning to survive this stressful world again....anyway...hope yu are all good ...han sends her love to jam..thank goodness it was not this year we stayed at the farmhouse...she has all if it was not bad enough 2 years ago for jme with han falling at his feet ...well he should see her now, frightening! hope he is enjoying uni...will send u an email when i muster up some more strength..this is good for me itkeeps the brain cells working....sometimes...kath n bly.prth