Tuesday, 4 December 2007
Wot I did at the Hospital
Here is a picture of my Hedgehog - hope I haven't upset him . . the food I put down has not been touched since this picture!
Phew - it is good to be home . . . had my Endoscopy this afternoon - was meant to be this morning, but there were all sorts of holdups - so it was two and a half hours after I was booked in that I finally got to have the procedure. But whose complaining I had two and a half hours to sit and read . . .shame I was so berludy hungry and not to mention the lurking monster that fugging WANTED coffee and gave me a thumping head just in case I forgot. AND even after it was all over still no berludy coffee, or anything to eat for at least another hour . . .WHY . . . .cos I'd had a throat spray to numb everything . . .BERGER . . .So what did they do . . . .They put me in a waiting room with a man eating biscuits and drinking coffee . . . YES . . yes . . the man is still alive, although I did offer to mug him . . he didn't look impressed. Couldn't run away though he was in a wheel chair . . .no . . no I didn't put him in the wheel chair . . .sigh . . just have bad do you think I am without my coffee . . .Snarl.
So what was it like, the endoscopy that is . . Well actually not too bad in a, oh look there's a lovely brick wall I think I'll bang my head on it, sort of way. The staff were excellent . . . Well they were at the start, but by the time I went in for my tube down the throat it was lunchtime and the nurse pushing my bed to the theatre was actually scratching around to find people to go in with me. I really do believe it was because it was lunchtime and not because I had talked them all into submission, no I really really believe that. Certainly the nurse originally assigned to me was no-where to be seen. I still have TWO cannula bruises to prove she did exist.
Meanwhile back in the endoscopy theatre . . Quick chat with the consultant about symptoms, medication I am on blah blah . . then they laid me on my side and administered the sedative through the cannula . . . .big happy sigh . . . All going fuzzy . . . I remember the gum shield thingy to stop me biting through the scope - burger - chomping through that thing due to lack of caffeine would have been very satisfying . . .ah well. And the rest was a not unpleasant blur punctuated by the odd gag (apparently me) and a voice telling me to breathe through my nose . . .Why? . . I like gagging and then berlimey was that me burping (they fill your stomach with air to stretch it out, so that they can see with the camera) . . .apparently yes that was me burping (mmmm very proud) and then it was all over.
So I was wheeled back out and onto the ward . . .and eventually after vital signs tested . . .all good I am pleased to report . . . I was put into the waiting room where a mugging (see above) was not committed.
And the results . . . I have reddening of the stomach - but they don't know why . . . they took a biopsy . . .REALLY you did . . .I didn't feel a thing! Oh and I have a Hiatus Hernia . . . . mmmmmmm . . . but none of it is serious . . .tell that to the pain . . . so in two weeks time I have to go and see my Doctor who will then tell me what pills the consultant wants me to take . . . Ok . . . and let me know the results of the biopsy - which was mainly to see if I have Helibactor Pylori . . ok . . . .(yeah yeah I could google it and get the spelling right . . .but why would I want to?)!
Oh and the best bit I was sent home to rest and not do anything as the sedative might make me feel a bit woozy and forget things . . .puts up feet . . .happy sigh . . .reaches for the chocolates - and I can guarantee I won't remember who ate them!
As for there being no question marks in most, if not all of this blog - that is because I ran out of them and there is a national shortage!!!
Berlimey one thing I forgot to mention yesterday when I wrote this was that the person doing the endoscopy was a nurse who was being assessed . . the consultant was there with her. Today my throat is really sore - it hurts to talk and swallow and my chest feels as though Monday night's party was held on it . . . . .sigh . . . I had this procedure done a few years ago and last time don't remember any adverse effects at all . . . HS enjoying the peace . . . Harummmppphhhhh . . . I'm saving it ALL up . .